Christmas Jokes

[RON]

Keep em clean!

Those tins of evaporated milk are a bit of a con arnt they?
I bought a tin yesterday and it was FULL

[Martin]

Well, remember you *DID* ask.

My sister makes a cold Christmas dessert from sponge cake, fruit, jelly, and whipped cream, topped with chocolate buttons and sprinkles. I'd like to say that it was the best part of the Christmas meal, but that would be exaggerating a trifle.

[Shaun]

Who sneaks around in the bakery at Christmas time?
A mince spy.

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.


How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even.

Shaun

[belli]

A Christmas quacker?

[RON]

Did you hear about the woman that had a £1 coin stuck in her left ear and a 50p piece stuck in her right ear?

She was one fifty in arrears.

[Spike S]

"Should have filed a Flight Plan:"

[Shaun]

A Christmas quacker?

Spell checker spoiled the joke.
. Now corrected

[Sundancer]

Did you hear about the woman that had a £1 coin stuck in her left ear and a 50p piece stuck in her right ear?

She was one fifty in arrears.

Did the spell checker get you too Ron? I THINK that should be "arrears"!

[GarydNB]

Thanks George! NOW I get it...
Gary

[RON]

Did you hear about the woman that had a £1 coin stuck in her left ear and a 50p piece stuck in her right ear?

She was one fifty in arrears.

Did the spell checker get you too Ron? I THINK that should be "arrears"!

Don’t know what your on about